About - Kristie.

about kristie

i spent most of my life becoming someone I was never shown how to be.

Hi, I’m Kristie. I’m a therapist, clinical supervisor, and consultant based in New York. I help high-achieving people figure out what comes next when success stops feeling like enough.

My Story

How I Got Here

I grew up as the middle child of Chinese immigrants, navigating two different worlds before I had language for what that cost. At home, I learned one set of rules. At school, another. With friends, another still.

Like many first-generation children, I became fluent in adaptation.

I learned how to read rooms. Anticipate expectations. Translate cultures. Become what was needed in different spaces. I got so good at it that eventually it stopped feeling like something I was doing and started feeling like who I was.

Looking back, much of my life has been shaped by becoming things I had no roadmap for.

Someone choosing a life that didn’t always look like the one she was taught to imagine.

The challenge was never becoming those things.

The challenge was figuring out who I was underneath all the becoming.

Subheading

Learning That Insight Isn't the Same Thing as Change

I started therapy when I was eighteen.

It wasn’t trendy then. It wasn’t something people openly discussed in the communities I grew up around. I started because I needed help.

What I discovered over time was that understanding why you do something is very different from being able to stop doing it.

You can know exactly where a pattern came from and still feel trapped by it.

That gap between insight and change fascinated me. It still does.

It’s one of the reasons I became a therapist.

Becoming a Therapist

After graduate school, I worked multiple jobs while waiting for New York State to process my full license.

At one point, administrative delays temporarily prevented me from practicing and I was moved into compliance and administrative work instead.

On paper, everything looked fine.

I had responsibilities. Stability. A paycheck.

I was also deeply unhappy.

It was my first clear lesson that competence and fulfillment are not the same thing. Just because you’re capable of something doesn’t mean it’s where you’re meant to be.

The work that energized me was sitting with people in moments of uncertainty, helping them make sense of themselves, and creating space for conversations most people never get to have.

That’s where I felt most alive.

Becoming a Business Owner

When people began reaching out for therapy and my employer couldn’t accommodate them, I started seeing a few clients on the side.

I told myself it was temporary.

One client became a few. A few became more.

I was still applying for traditional full-time jobs and fully expected private practice to remain a side project.

Then the pandemic happened.

Hiring froze. Job opportunities disappeared. At the same time, demand for therapy exploded.

The path I thought I was pursuing closed almost overnight.

The path I wasn’t planning for suddenly opened.

I didn’t become an entrepreneur because I had a grand vision for building a business. I became one because life pushed me into unfamiliar territory and asked me to figure it out.

Again, there was no blueprint.

Becoming the Person My Family Needed

Around the same time my practice was growing, my father suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm that resulted in a stroke.

I hired my first employee so I could spend time with him in the ICU.

I hired my second so I could be home when he returned from rehabilitation.

For much of my life, success had been something abstract—a title, an achievement, a milestone.

That experience changed my understanding of it.

Success became less about accomplishment and more about capacity.

The ability to be present.

The ability to show up.

The ability to choose where my time and energy went when the people I loved needed me most.

From the outside, things looked successful.

Inside, I was doing what I’d always done.

Holding things together.

Managing crises.

Keeping everything moving.

Not stopping long enough to ask what carrying all of it was costing me.

Becoming More Fully Myself

Coming into my identity as a queer woman wasn’t a single moment. It was a gradual process of questioning assumptions I had inherited about relationships, success, family, and who I was supposed to become.

It coincided with other endings too.

Relationships that no longer fit.

Friendships that changed.

Family dynamics that shifted.

Not because anyone was wrong, but because authenticity changes things.

The more honestly I lived, the harder it became to maintain relationships built around adaptation.

What I eventually realized was that many of my relationships had been held together the same way I’d learned to hold everything else together—through effort, accommodation, and keeping the peace.

Learning to live more authentically meant learning that not everything is meant to be maintained forever.

Building a Life Without a Blueprint

One of the things I rarely appreciated while it was happening was how many parts of my life I was building without a roadmap.

There was no blueprint for becoming a therapist when mental health wasn’t openly discussed.

No blueprint for running a successful private practice.

No blueprint for speaking publicly about mental health.

No blueprint for becoming a homeowner in New York.

No blueprint for building financial security in a profession where many assume it isn’t possible.

No blueprint for choosing a child-free life that felt intentional rather than inherited.

No blueprint for creating a version of adulthood that reflected my values instead of someone else’s expectations.

Again and again, I found myself in territory without a map.

Every time I thought I had figured out who I was, life asked me to build a new version of myself from scratch.

What began as adaptation slowly became something else.

Choice.

I'm Here Because

Why I Do This Work

For years, I believed what looked like strength was simply strength.

Later I realized some of it was survival.

What looked like certainty was often adaptation.

What looked like clarity was sometimes conditioning.

I wasn’t always consciously choosing.

I was often operating inside systems, expectations, and identities that had shaped me long before I understood them.

The question that has followed me through every chapter of my life is the same question that often brings people into my office:

What I Believe

The Principles That Guide My Work

When the old rules no longer fit.

When the role you’ve been performing stops feeling like home.

When success, relationships, family, identity, or work no longer make sense in the way they once did.

I don’t believe my job is to hand you a new blueprint.

I believe it’s to help you discover the one that’s already trying to emerge.

Because the most meaningful parts of our lives are rarely found by following someone else’s map.

They’re built by learning how to trust yourself when you’re creating one of your own.

Who I'm Drawn to Work With

You're Probably a Good Fit If You're...

people who have always felt a little outside the frame. I’m drawn to ppl who spent a lifetime adapting, specifically:

Asian & Asian American clients

navigating the particular weight of carrying family expectation, cultural identity, and the question of what belonging actually costs. The code-switching that becomes second nature. The grief of a version of yourself that got left behind somewhere along the way.

Queer & LGBTQ+ clients

who've spent years mastering the art of reading the room and are learning what it means to stop performing for it. Building an identity without a blueprint in a world that still hasn't fully made space for you.

Immigrants & first-generation clients

building lives without maps, often for people who came before them as much as for themselves. Carrying two worlds at once and belonging fully to neither.

Ways We Can Work Together

what happens when the old way doesn't fit?

therapy

therapy For individuals navigating identity, transitions, relationships, and the patterns that keep showing up no matter how much you already know about yourself. Sessions are telehealth, across New York State.

clinical supervision

For licensed clinicians who want to deepen their clinical judgment, develop their voice, and grow beyond simply doing what they've been taught.

private practice

consulting For therapists building, refining, or growing a practice that actually reflects who they've become — not just what worked when they started. explore consulting →

Off the Clock

When I'm Not Working....

you'll usually find me...

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frequently asked questions

are you currently accepting new clients?

Yes — I currently have availability for new therapy clients. You can book a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit.

where do you practice?

Fully via telehealth. I see clients across New York State — you can be anywhere in New York during our sessions.

how often do we meet?

Weekly is standard and what I recommend, especially in the earlier stages of the work. Biweekly is available for clients who are further along or need more flexibility. 90-minute intensives are available depending on what you’re working on and where you are in the process.

do you take insurance?

I am an out-of-network provider, which means I do not have a contract with insurance companies. If you have out-of-network benefits, you may be eligible for partial reimbursement for therapy sessions. Many PPO and POS plans offer out-of-network mental health benefits, though coverage varies by plan. After each session, I can provide a superbill that you may submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. Depending on your insurance plan, I may also be able to offer courtesy billing. Please note that reimbursement amounts, deductibles, claim approval, and eligibility are determined entirely by your insurance company. As a courtesy, I am happy to conduct an initial benefits verification. However, because insurance information can change and coverage decisions are ultimately made by the insurance company, I strongly encourage clients to contact their insurance provider directly to confirm their out-of-network mental health benefits before beginning therapy.

why don’t you accept insurance?

I choose to remain out of network so that treatment decisions can be guided by your needs rather than insurance requirements. Insurance companies often require a mental health diagnosis, may request access to clinical information, and can place limitations on treatment based on their definition of medical necessity. Remaining out of network allows for greater privacy, flexibility, and autonomy in our work together.Many of my clients seek therapy not only for anxiety, depression, or burnout, but also for relationship challenges, identity exploration, life transitions, questions of meaning and belonging, and personal growth. Working outside of insurance allows us to focus on the issues that matter most to you without being constrained by a third-party payer’s requirements.

what does a first session look like?

The first session is mostly me getting oriented — understanding what brought you here, how you’ve tried to address it before, and what you’re hoping changes. I’ll ask a lot of questions. You don’t need to have it figured out before we start. Most people don’t.

what does online therapy in New York look like?

Once I understand how you move through the world I can usually find the thread — not just the pattern on the surface but what’s driving it underneath. When I see it, I name it directly. Then we figure out where it came from, tracing it back to the family dynamics, cultural expectations, and the room you grew up in and what it required of you to survive it. From there we work with the patterns as they’re actually happening, not just in hindsight. Rather than only talking about these moments, we practice responding differently in them — building the capacity to stay with yourself in the conversations, decisions, and relationships where it actually matters.

my qualifications

training & credentials

Education

Master of Arts (M.A.), Mental Health Counseling with Advanced Concentration in LGBT Health, Education, and Social Services at New York University

Bachelor of Science (B.S.), Psychology and Gender Studies at CUNY Brooklyn College

Licensure

Licensed Mental Health Counselor with Diagnostic Privilege (LMHC-D) New York State #009672

Advanced Training

Clinical Supervision: Providing Effective Supervision, Navigating Ethical Issues, and Managing Risk (PESI)
Anxiety, OCD, & Exposure-Based Treatment: CBT and Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) for Anxiety Disorders, OCD, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Phobias (PESI)
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Complete IFS Therapy Immersion (PESI)
Grief & Bereavement (Calvary Hospital)
Telehealth & Distance Therapy (PESI)
Substance Use & Co-Occurring Disorders: CASAC Educational Training Program (TARP)
Integrated Mental Health & Addictions Treatment (Columbia Psychiatry)